Didn’t they go away? Why the hell not?

I just discovered that Papa Roach recently lost their sense of mercy and shat forth something approximating a new single this year.  They have dubbed this fecal offering “Hollywood Whore.”

I try not to waste energy skewering bands that have long since impaled themselves upon the shards of their own shattered credibility (which must have been especially difficult for Papa Roach, considering they really never had any credibility to begin with), but for me, this totally came out of nowhere.  I seriously thought these mutants had returned to whatever toxic swamp they crawled forth from several evolutionary eons too late, but it would seem that I was mistaken.

They still haven’t deviated from the musical formula continues to placate those who lack pubic hair, but I have to admit they’ve been extremely successful at leaping from trend to trend without sounding at all original, interesting, or even particularly awful.  They’ve managed to blend in seamlessly with the endless parade of mediocrity shoveled at us by the popular rock establishment.  In fact, one can faithfully trace the erratic trajectory of mainstream trends by looking at Papa Roach singles.  Perhaps these chaps are trying to act as hard-rocking historians who simply want to preserve the fine sounds they themselves know will be forgotten…  but if their newest song is any indication of their actual intentions, I doubt it.

Part of me regrets that I am generating traffic for this video, but… oh well.  For science!  And mockery!

What immediately troubles me about this song is not the compressed-to-hell ass-soup pro-tools treatment, or even the auto-tuned backing vocals (which I am violently sensitive to).  No, what put a big shit-eating grimace on my face is the hardcore misogyny dripping from Jacoby Shaddix’s well-glossed lips.  No subtlety, no celebration of masculinity, not even the objectification that is especially common in the cock-rock I believe these mongoloids are attempting to emulate, just straight-up lady hating.

That and the auto-tune.

The offense I’m taking might seem odd, considering my association with some of the most blasphemous, horrific, and downright evil music this side of hell, but allow me to put things in perspective:  Papa Roach appeals to a demographic that lacks the life experience to properly contextualize and relate to the subject matter these once adorable bozos sing about.  The result will be a lost generation and the ultimate collapse of all civilization.

Think of the children.